Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, November 2009

Kundalini is Sanskrit for coiled snake and its something we all have. When this force is activated through focus, it glides through the body like a snake uniting the body and forming a ladder that energy flows upwards on. It’s movement is similar to two huge hissing snakes (large snakes) made of metal, gliding up the body and uniting in the middle where it fused together with its opposite in the center of the body. In deep meditation you ‘see’ the fusing of what looks like liquid metal and glides like two snakes running up the sides of the body.

The goddess energy first appears about 4 inches below the groin as a blood red cube and then it opens from the center of the cube then the hissing begins with a red river of energy pouring out and upwards to the body.  The hissing noise is very loud and pronounced – almost deafening – during the entire time of the uniting of the body centers. It sounds very tribal.

When red river gets to the groin it splits itself into two rivers, moves about 6 inches and then each river takes a 90-degree turn at the exact same time but each moving in the opposite direction – one river up the right side of the body while the other is moving up the left. After it makes these two 90-degree turns the red color turns to a gray metal color, thicker and larger and gliding like a snake on either side of the body uniting its two river heads in the center of the body. The hissing continues and the flow begins again from the side of the body (rather than in the center) and moves up a level and takes another 90-degree turn so that its gray river head merge in the center again. It repeats itself 3 times – 4 in total.

To be clear, the energy does not cross over the body, the two streams of energy “snake” up the sides of the body, turn to flow across the body and clank together (making a metal clanking sound) in the center fusing like two metal poles. The river is always about two inches in diameter and remaining the same diameter during the whole experience. After they joined in the center, the snaking begins again on the side of body to join in the center. This repeats itself all the way up the body and just before the 4^th bar is united the body bursts into fire.

This is the heart level. This is the furthest that the mother force can go.  This is the boundary of her land. The heart space is filled with pain – more painful than giving birth – like my chest was being torn open while my heart strained to free itself from the bondage of flesh to return to its owner – the divine mother principle, the creatrix, the great power. My heart desperately tried to rip itself from my chest to flow back to her. My focus united with the father while my heart untie with the other the mother and I was tied to the two of them being torn. The massive pain of holding onto these two connections was sustained by the deep, compassionate love. My body was in agony from the strain on my heart which was on the verge of exploding, and the weight on my pineal gland (head) was like balancing infinity mac trucks on my head. The weight was unbearable.

I found myself engulfed in a raging fire with huge flames. The fire was not hot but cool, and a bright white light bore down on me and circled the crown of my head repeatedly creating a white halo around the crown of my skull for quite some time while my body burned. The energy moving around my head forming a white halo appeared to be that of a small, white bird, like a small dove whose swift, firm wings flapped continually as it rotated around my skull forming a cool breeze (yet it was not a bird). As it circled one wing was up and then the other – it did not fly like a bird with both wings up and down, but it felt like a bird – so precise and the body shape but without a head. My inner guide told me to stay very still until the fire died out.

MERGING WITH THE CREATOR FORCE

I continued on in meditation and connected to the father force, the creator source, entering a downpour of powerful yellow golden light. It felt massive and with incredible strength, nobility, and a magnitude of intense, immeasurable love – it was so overwhelming my heart painfully overflowed while my mind stayed connected to the stream of force. This stream of force was coming from the center of my forehead, and was connected to a huge, powerful, white light in the distance – all the while I was in incredible pain while deeply immersed in loving compassion. The breadth of this light I was connected to was a force so immense and mighty that the size of the sun would hardly equate to a particle within its body. I merged with this body of light and my soul arrived at that distant destination. Everything was sparkling golden.

The feeling was like walking through a golden castle doorway of a grand golden cathedral full of noble kings and I was consumed by the weight of their strength, their intelligence, their nobility and their depth of compassion. They turned around joyfully surprized to see me, welcoming me with a strong, elated vibration of joyous love which flowed through my being. It felt like a home-coming – like happily surprizing a father by returning home. I felt so loved, so well received and so treasured. Their bright yellow vibrational bodies glowed in gold all forming a bright collective.

Unable to withstand this vibrational height, the immense pressure on my forehead and heart, I felt myself wavering and then fell backwards to spiral all the way downwards through the cosmos on a spiraling ladder of white light which ended with a great thud into a deep, black void of darkness. A two-inch radius of white light (the same diameter of the uniting snakes in my body) fountained from my forehead, creating a streaming hose of light which ended far-off in the distant cosmos.

This golden ladder was what my spirit had vibrationally climbed up on to connect to the creative source. As I spiralled down, I witnessed every life I had ever lived, from human down to an insect, down to nothing but a seed of consciousness planted in the darkness. I witnessed these lives not as an observer, but by being in that body and experiencing the thoughts of that entity at the time as I passed downward through that level of being as them on the great spiral. After each of these experiences I circled backwards in the spiral to find myself again in a new body…over and over again all the way down to a seed of consciousness in a black void.

SUMMONED BY THE GODDESS

I went back to Canada and continued to meditate. The old life was beginning again, as my mind was coming down from my previous, intense experiences. My upper jaw had become very tense trying to align my energy to connect felt like it was going to crack due to the great pressure of trying to realign my mind once again. Flood gates of undirected energy everywhere.

My mind was fully exhausted and weak from continuously intense meditation. I laid awake on my bed one afternoon when i suddenly found my body completely paralysed. I couldn’t move at all, I was frozen and felt myself being pulled backwards into the bed and downwards into a very dark abyss. I tried to fight the pull, but it was useless. Unlike meditation, where I controlled my mind, here I was completely at the mercy of whatever was pulling me. I was forced into surrender. I arrived in dark space, not able to move my body and a knowing began to spread through my being as the fear died out. This was the greater truth, the Divine Mother of all things. I was with her, in complete darkness, and it was rich and full. I felt so safe, so contained.

I was placed into a kneeling position before her, I had no feeling of muscle or bone or thought. She penetrated all of me without effort. It was automatic. I belonged to her. I was so humbled and honored by her vast loving presence. I trusted her completely. Yet I could see nothing, then, like a dark carpet, the universal dark space rose before me producing a dark hood formed by all things at all levels of being. There were many in this darkness and their consciousness that gathered together to produce the image I was witnessing.

She gently became visible in the darkness, unfolding like a manta ray but into what appeared to be a large black shrouded cloak, there was no face and no body. She was alive and made up of all things. She is far beyond our ideas of power. She was all and the previous massive yellow light did not equate to a cell within her great universal being. I suddenly stood facing her and my mind was blank – no thought whatsoever. I just was. Knowing is so different from thinking. I knew everything but thought nothing. Space was her. She was space. She was all things. She carried all the power of the universe like a humble, loving and gracious monarch.